One day, sometime in 2004, Charmaine and Jessica were sitting down late one lazy Saturday afternoon, flipping through the channels on the television. They stopped changing channels when they stumbled across a documentary dealing with gender identity and brain sex. They were both fascinated, and Jessica was completely dumbfounded when a transsexual man interviewed for the show was able to articulate almost exactly what she had been feeling since she was little. She even shed a few tears as some of his words really hit home. It was at that moment that her life changed forever as she realized that there were other people out there that felt the same way as she did, and that she was not as alone in her feelings as she had always just assumed. The man on the television was Jamison Green, one of the most famous names in the transgender community. And so from that moment, Jessica felt indebted to him for saving her life from almost certain disaster.

Jessica became obsessed with reading up on the subject, trying to figure out where on the transgender scale she might fall. She had also started to dress in private in some girly clothes that Charmaine had kindly bought for her to wear in private, hoping that they would suffice to satisfy her occasional strong need to express herself and to feel more at ease with herself. It helped a little, but there was always something missing. Cross-dressing just wasn’t doing the trick. More and more, she started to feel that she might actually be transsexual. She watched the Discovery Health Channel specials that focused on transitioning transsexuals over and over, wondering if one day she might also go down that long and difficult road (unfortunately the shows are not available for sale, but are aired once every few months).

One night, in June of 2005, when watching one of the shows for what was probably about the 40th time (no exaggeration), Charmaine (who had watched the shows with her almost as many times) paused the show when she noticed that Jessica had tears streaming down her face. It was then that Charmaine assured Jessica that she would always be there to stand by her and support her through the transition if that was what she felt that she needed to do. Jessica had never cried as much as she did that night, not so much out of sorrow or frustration, but more out of relief, joy and hope.

The following weekend, she attended one of her closest colleagues’ wedding. Having made the decision to transition and seeing all those gorgeous dresses made her very jealous indeed. She imagined that it was her that was walking down the aisle in a gorgeous flowing wedding dress. Frustrations aside, she still had a great time, even though she spent most of it watching all the girls enjoying themselves, wishing that she could just come out and be herself and join them, once and for all. But she reminded herself to be patient and that one day soon enough, she would indeed be able to be a part of the festivities in the way that she had always dreamed. The day after the wedding, in an attempt to at least try to redeem the weekend that was really supposed to be a happy weekend for her, Jessica, holding Charmaine’s hand the whole time, had her ears pierced. What a moment that was. It was like someone had suddenly turned the clock back 20 years, and she felt like a little schoolgirl who had just gotten her ears pierced. A few weeks later, she found the courage to shave off her beard, got all dressed up, and headed out as Jessica for the very first time. She immediately got over her fear of being seen by one of her neighbors as she found herself staring straight into the face of her next-door neighbor the second that she opened the front door to leave. She smiled, waved and walked by, not saying a word, got into the car, and drove off screaming and laughing with uncontrollable excitement. That short trip to the gas station turned out to be the most liberating fill-up she had ever experienced.

When the girl that had gotten married returned after her brief honeymoon, she commented to Jessica on how different she looked without the beard, and, in particular, wanted to know why she had chosen to have both of her ears pierced, to which Jessica simply responded innocently, “Why not? That’s what I wanted.”

Over the next few months, Charmaine and Jessica went out on countless shopping trips together, starting to enjoy their new life together as girlfriends. During the course of September, 2005, Jessica broke the news to her mother (still living in South Africa), and her sister (living in Spain). Neither of them had the overwhelmingly negative reaction that she had been dreading (at least not in front of her), which helped tremendously to build her confidence in herself that things would eventually work out. She then systematically came out to all of her friends, and finally told a few key people that she knew would be only too happy to spread the word.

Through a twist of fate, Charmaine also met another really nice guy and over time, they became a lot more than just friends. After weighing up all of their options, Charmaine and Jessica ultimately made the heartbreaking decision to separate late in 2005, but vowed to remain the best of friends for life. Neither of them have any regrets about the time that they spent together.

Despite her failed marriage, rapidly dwindling number of true friends, and having read so many disastrous transition accounts, Jessica, being the unfailing optimist, was more determined than ever to make her transition a success. She researched therapists in the area, and found a very well reputed gender specialist, Martha Harris, not too far from home. At the same time, having researched hair removal options, she started getting laser treatments (to remove her facial hair) by a very sweet electrologist and laser aesthetician, Maureen Schantz, who was known to be very supportive of those undergoing gender transition. It was also around this time that she discovered a local support group called MAGIC (Metro Area Gender Identity Connection), where she met many new friends. After some intensive research and planning, Jessica started planning to live full time as a woman. Late in February, 2006, she came out to her employer’s newly appointed Chief HR Officer (could you just imagine being faced with something like that on day 5 of being on the job?), who was receptive and very supportive. After some discussion, they agreed that July, 2006 would be a good time for Jessica to transition on the job.

Over the few months that followed, she went through the medical insurance obstacle course to obtain pre-determination for getting her therapy, hormone treatments, and ultimately surgery, covered under the company’s insurance plan. While it took some effort, she came out on top, with the insurance committing to cover all of the treatments requested. Over those last few months prior to transitioning at work, she came out to various key management figures, and with each one, her excitement level grew. By mid-May, having just started hormone therapy, Jessica was so excited about her upcoming life-changing event, that her productivity had dropped to an all-time low and some of her managers were getting understandably concerned. To make matters even worse, over the span of just three weeks, she was involved in a really bad car accident, while on her way to deliver the signed divorce paperwork to the court clerk, and her divorce hearing was postponed for a month due to an “illegible ink stamp.” Thankfully, those that knew about what was happening were fairly understanding, and everyone was hoping that things would change significantly for the better after she could finally come out and tell everyone and get the whole thing over with.

The week before her official full-time transition date, she first came out in person to her immediate peer group. Talk about an awkward silence! Well, at least someone was brave enough to ask a very good question, which got the dialog going. The entire remaining management team was notified shortly thereafter, in preparation for the announcement to the whole company the following day. Once the main announcement had been delivered, it felt like a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders. There was an information session held by her therapist for all interested staff the next day, which was well attended, and all who were there found it very helpful. A few of the staff also stopped by to show their support, which was a very welcome surprise. [Sample documents based on those that Jessica compiled for her own transition are available for download on the Sample Transition Documents page.]

The first two weeks of July, her first two weeks living full time as a girl), she took some time off work to spend with her mother and sister, who had flown in (from their homes in South Africa and Spain respectively ) to spend their vacation time with her (and meet her as Jessica, as a daughter and as a sister, for the very first time). During those two weeks, she also got her divorce finalized, and a few days later, her name was officially changed to Jessica Rose McKinnon. The time spent with her family was very special, and for the first time ever, the family actually managed to set all of their differences aside and got along, striving to understand each other in ways that they had not expected that would come out of such a short visit. It was then that Jessica realized, more than ever, that her place was to help others understand, as well as to help others like herself in every way that she could. By the time that her family left, Jessica was all fired up and ready to face her first day back at work in her new role.

And so it turned out that all of the planning had paid off. No restroom usage issues; no resentment; no ill-treatment; no drop in general staff productivity; no problems whatsoever. A few people stopped by her office that day to welcome her back (and probably to satisfy their curiosity). Most people took to Jessica’s new name and pronouns as though as though nothing had happened. Indeed, it was her dream come true. It was “the biggest non-event in the company’s history”, just as they had planned and were aiming for. And with that, Jessica’s confidence in herself soared. She quickly started to make new friends at work as she felt so much more comfortable with herself. A few of the girls at work welcomed her as a girl with a unique perspective on why guys are the way that they are. Some of her closest friends, both transgender and non-transgender, had also told her that her coming out was inspiring to them and hearing about her struggles had helped them in their own lives, which only served to fuel her passion for helping others even more...